Thoughts on the end of life by Ann S. Epstein Writer and End-of-Life Doula

Darkness and Light: The Winter Solstice

Stonehenge was built to align with the sun on the Summer and Winter Solstice

The Winter Solstice, which falls on December 21, 2023 at 9:27 PM Eastern Time, is the shortest and darkest day of the year. Members of NEDA (National End-of-Life Doula Alliance) recognize that for people approaching the end of life, and those who love them, every day can be filled with darkness. However, the Winter Solstice also marks a turning point where the days begin to get longer and brighter. EOLDs help those they serve recognize light even in dark times. Prepared to face death, we can cherish what remains of life, embrace the memories that lit up our days, step out of the shadows that haunt us, and leave a legacy that will shine on after we are gone. The Winter Solstice, celebrated since ancient times, invites us to create rituals that offer thanks, inspiration, and hope. Step into the darkness and let your eyes adjust to the light within. Learn more about my EOLD credentials and fee-free services helping people write legacy documents — life reviews and ethical wills — at END-OF-LIFE DOULA.

Secrets of Longevity

As an end-of-life doula, I often ponder our reluctance to face death. We consider human cognition a blessing, yet many of us would prefer not to be “blessed” with the knowledge that we will die. Some take steps to avoid, or greatly delay, that reality. In recent years, Silicon Valley billionaires have invested in biotech start-ups and adopted lifestyles in pursuit of longevity, if not immortality. While the technology is new, the pursuit of a long life was also an obsession in medieval Europe. Some aspired to live for hundreds of years, like Methuselah. Then, as now, the emphasis was on prevention. One theory held that as a person aged, their body cooled and dried. While this process could not be stopped, proper living could slow it down. People were told to avoid sneezing and sex, which dried out the body; limit the intake of green fruits and vegetables; and avoid cutting their fingernails if the Moon was in the sign of Gemini, Cancer, or Pisces. Saturdays were a bad time for a manicure or pedicure. Yet a lot of old advice had merit and is now supported by empirical evidence: Exercise, get enough sleep, eat a healthy diet, avoid excessive alcohol consumption, and take care of one’s mental health. Of course, it also helps to be rich. And lucky. Pope John XXI, who claimed he knew how to prolong life, died at 62 in 1277 when a ceiling collapsed on him. And the author of a 1489 medical text on longevity was killed by the disgruntled family of a patient. In sum: Accept the inevitable but do what you can to ward off the evitable: Eat your broccoli and cancel Saturday’s mani-pedi appointment. Most important, trite as it sounds, emphasize quality over quantity. It’s no coincidence that it’s usually the rich and powerful who want to unnaturally extend their time on earth. The rest of us want to use our allotted days well and bequeath valuable lessons and memories when our time is up. L’chaim.

Prolonging life: A medieval and modern obsession

End-of-Life Doula (EOLD)

The NEDA Proficiency Badge is awarded for knowledge of the EOLD Scope of Practice and adherence to a Code of Ethics

EOLD certification is awarded by qualified organizations to qualifying candidates

After completing an intensive training course, I have earned a National End-of-Life Doula Alliance (NEDA) Proficiency Badge and End-of-Life Doula (EOLD) Certification from The Dying Year. An EOLD provides a wide range of non-medical services and referrals to people preparing for death. They coordinate with, but do not replace, the help offered by hospice, social workers, financial and legal advisors, funeral arrangers, home health aides, or other caregivers. Within their scope of practice, EOLDs are professionals bound by a code of ethics. Applying my literary skills, the primary service I offer is helping people write their Life Review and Ethical Will. A life review is the process of looking at our experiences, especially our “stories,” to draw meaning from our lives. An ethical will is a statement of the values and life lessons that one wants pass along to those left behind. If you are interested for yourself, or on behalf of a loved one, I’d be honored to assist you. Learn more about my credentials and services at END-OF-LIFE DOULA.