Bad Dad Tale: Kafkaesque Kernel

Without Franz Kafka’s papa Hermann, the term “Kafkaesque” might not exist. In one famous wintry anecdote, the father shut his young son outside on the balcony in his nightshirt for daring to ask for a glass of water. In his mid-thirties, Kafka wrote his father a 100-page “lawyer’s letter” citing years of intimidation and emotional abuse, but, true to the genre, he never sent it. For the story of another bad dad, read The Great Stork Derby, based on an actual contest in which a husband pressures his wife to have babies for cash and, fifty years later, learns the true meaning of fatherhood. Read more about the book in NOVELS.

Father Hermann was the seed for his son Franz’s nightmares
Toronto, 1926: A husband pressures his wife to have babies for a large cash prize

Bad Dad Tale: Heedless Father with Headless Wives

Henry VIII fathered an unknown number of children but acknowledged only seven as legitimate, among them Elizabeth I. He annulled two of his six marriages, beheaded two wives, and was the last Henry to head England. For the story of another bad dad, read The Great Stork Derby, based on an actual contest in which a husband pressures his wife to have babies for cash and, fifty years later, learns the true meaning of fatherhood. Read more about the book in NOVELS.

England has never been headed by a Henry IX
Toronto, 1926: A husband pressures his wife to have babies for a large cash prize

Bad Dad Tale: Seesaw Sire

In Never Mind, a work of auto-fiction by Edward St. Aubyn, the father in an aristocratic family is manipulative, sexually abusive, and alternately cruel and apologetic. The cost to his son is depression and heroin addiction. For the story of another bad dad who messes up his kids, read The Great Stork Derby, based on an actual contest in which a husband pressures his wife to have babies for cash and, fifty years later, learns the true meaning of fatherhood. Read more about the book in NOVELS.

Auto-fiction about a truly horrible father
Toronto, 1926: A husband pressures his wife to have babies for a large cash prize

Bad Dad Tale: Diabolical Dictator and Dad

Failed dictator Joseph Stalin failed as a father too. After his son Yakov’s unsuccessful suicide attempt, Stalin mocked him, “He can’t even shoot straight.” When Yakov was captured by the Red Army, Stalin refused to trade a German officer to save him. Yakov died in a concentration camp, reportedly by throwing himself onto an electric fence. For the story of another bad dad, read The Great Stork Derby, based on an actual contest in which a husband pressures his wife to have babies for cash and, fifty years later, learns the true meaning of fatherhood. Read more about the book in NOVELS.

Stalin killed millions and drove his own son to suicide
Toronto, 1926: A husband pressures his wife to have babies for a large cash prize

Bad Dad Tale: Bone-Breaker

Glen Waddle, in Bastard Out of Carolina by Dorothy Allison, repeatedly and violently rapes his preteen step-daughter, once so badly he breaks her bones. A grim tale of poverty and misogyny that asks whether women can save the day. For the story of another bad dad — who tries to break a baby-making record — read The Great Stork Derby, based on an actual contest in which a husband pressures his wife to have babies for cash. Fifty years later, he learns the true meaning of fatherhood. Read more about the book in NOVELS.

One father breaks bones
Another father tries to break a baby-making record

Bad Dad Tale: No More Mister Nice Guy

Jack Torrance in Stephen King’s The Shining (played by Jack Nicholson in the film) breaks his son’s arm, loses his job, and when evil forces at a haunted hotel in the Rockies unleash Jack’s violent streak, he goes AWOL and tries to murder his family. For the story of another (not quite as) bad dad, read The Great Stork Derby, based on an actual contest in which a husband pressures his wife to have babies for cash and, fifty years later, learns the true meaning of fatherhood. Read more about the book in NOVELS.

Who knows what evil lurks inside the old man?
Toronto, 1926: A husband pressures his wife to have babies for a large cash prize

Bad Dad Tale: MIA Mongol

Genghis Khan, first ruler of the Mongol Empire, was missing in action as a father. Off conquering foreign lands, he never even met most of his children. After his death, no one was sure what he looked like or where he was buried. His heirs nevertheless followed in his bloody footsteps, rampaging through Eastern Europe, the Middle East, and the rest of China. His last ruling descendant was finally deposed in 1920. For the story of another bad dad, read The Great Stork Derby, based on an actual contest in which a husband pressures his wife to have babies for cash and, fifty years later, learns the true meaning of fatherhood. Read more about the book in NOVELS.

Genghis Kahn, the quintessential absent father
Toronto, 1926: A husband pressures his wife to have babies for a large cash prize

Bad Dad Tale: All-Around Atrocious

Many bad dads are also bad husbands, sons, or siblings. Abraham, who is willing to sacrifice his son Isaac, also pimps his wife Sarah to Pharaoh to protect himself. Agamemnon not only sacrifices his daughter Iphigenia, he forces Clytemnestra to marry him after killing her father. And Cronus kills his own father, then eats five of his six newborn children to prevent them from doing unto him what he did to his daddy. For the story of another bad dad, spouse, son, and brother, read The Great Stork Derby, based on an actual contest in which a husband pressures his wife to have babies for cash and, fifty years later, learns the true meaning of fatherhood. Read more about the book in NOVELS.

Bad father, bad husband, bad son, and bad brother
Toronto, 1926: A husband pressures his wife to have babies for a large cash prize

Bad Dad Tale: What’s Going On?

Reverend Marvin Gay Sr., a violent and philandering alcoholic, never got along with his oldest son, Marvin Gaye. The Motown legend even added an ‘e’ to the end of his name to distance himself from his father. On April 01, 1984, following a protracted family row, the Reverend shot and killed his son with a gun the singer had bought for him. For the story of another bad dad, read The Great Stork Derby, based on an actual contest in which a husband pressures his wife to have babies for cash and, fifty years later, learns the true meaning of fatherhood. Read more about the book in NOVELS.

His father fatally shot Motown legend Marvin Gaye
Toronto, 1926: A husband pressures his wife to have babies for a large cash prize

Bad Dad Tale: Can’t Beat ‘Em? Eat ‘Em

In Greek mythology, Cronus was the leader of the Titans, divine descendants of Gaia (Mother Earth) and Uranus (Father Sky). At his mother’s request, he overthrew his father by castrating him with a sickle and throwing his testicles in the sea. Told that his own sons would in turn overthrow him, Cronus devoured his first five children at birth. When his sixth child, Zeus, was born, his mother Rhea hid the child. Once grown, Zeus used an emetic given to him by Gaia to force Cronus to disgorge his other children. For another (less gruesome) bad dad story, read The Great Stork Derby, based on an actual contest in which a husband pressures his wife to have babies for cash and, fifty years later, learns the true meaning of fatherhood. Read more about the book in NOVELS.

Sixth child Zeus made father Cronus vomit up his five older siblings
Toronto, 1926: A husband pressures his wife to have babies for a large cash prize