Ann S. Epstein writes novels, short stories, memoir, essays, and poems. Please use the links or site menu to go to the HOME PAGE; learn about her NOVELS, SHORT STORIES, MEMOIR, ESSAYS, and POEMS; find interesting facts in BEHIND THE STORY; read REFLECTIONS on writing; check NEWS for updates on publications and related events; see REVIEWS; learn about her END-OF-LIFE DOULA credentials and services; and CONTACT US to send webmail.
“There is a myth about the redistribution of time during the pandemic, that we have fewer interruptions. I’ve experienced the opposite” (artist Anicka Yi). Neither is true for me. I attend the same number of in-person meetings and coffee dates, only now they happen on Zoom. While it’s true that I go to the market less often and buy things online rather than in-store, I was never much of a shopper to begin with. What has changed is how I feel about uninterrupted time spent alone. As a writer, I’ve always treasured it. I still do, but after a year of solitary routines, I’d (sort of) welcome more in-person social “disruptions.” Read more of my thoughts about writing at REFLECTIONS.
After a long lockdown in solitude, a few social interruptions may be welcomeWhy writers write: “Because somewhere out there is someone who needs that story.” – Neil Gaiman
“I switched to watching murder documentaries [during the pandemic]. When the world is grim like that, you look for something that is even worse” (actor and writer Sharon Horgan). Unlike Horgan, knowing that others are suffering doesn’t make me feel better. I just feel bad for them too. So, my (minimal) viewing habits and wide-ranging reading choices haven’t changed. Nor has my writing. The difference is that my level of interest and emotion has intensified. Read more of my thoughts about writing at REFLECTIONS.
Knowing someone has it worse makes me feel bad for them, not better about meWhy writers write: “An artist is a sort of emotional or spiritual historian. His role is to make you realize the doom and glory of knowing who you are and what you are.” – James Baldwin
My Amazon and Goodreads review of The Angle of Flickering Light (Rating 5) – Addicted to the Addicted. Gina Troisi’s honest and unsparing memoir, The Angle of Flickering Light, is a slant approach to addiction. Less about her own substance abuse problems, this brave journey instead looks at why she was attracted to men whose love affair with drugs exceeded their love for her. Her self-worth damaged by an abusive father and stepmother, Troisi compensated by rescuing others. Inevitably her ministrations failed to heal either them or herself. Addiction, be it to heroin or heroism, is an escape route that eventually hits a roadblock. Troisi’s feat is that she finally stops trying to circumnavigate her inner barrier and uses pointed writing to chip her way through it. Flickering light alternately casts shadows and illuminates. Troisi chooses brightness over darkness. As a writer myself (see my Amazon author page and Goodreads author page), I applaud Troisi’s literary gifts as she clears a path for herself while paving a connection with readers.
Choosing between shadow and illuminationWhy writers read: “The one way of tolerating existence is to lose oneself in literature as in a perpetual orgy.” – Gustave Flaubert
“2020 was the year I finally got my wish, to be really bored of the monotony of one day bleeding into the next” (artist Anicka Yi). I neither am, nor wish to be, bored. A new day of writing always awaits and I never know where it will take me. However, months into the lockdown, I suffered inertia, spending scarce reserves of energy to do something as simple as peeling an orange. Pandemic anxiety is debilitating. Read more of my thoughts about writing at REFLECTIONS.
A pandemic loop: Anxiety-inertia-boredomWhy writers write: “Most of our lives are mundane and dull. It’s up to the writer to find ways to make them interesting.” – John Updike
My Amazon and Goodreads review of Fake Accounts (Rating 2) – False Hype for a Worthless Recounting. The nameless narrator in Lauren Oyler’s Fake Accounts comments, “I can’t help but feel the books of collected tweets you occasionally see displayed on tables at Urban Outfitters would be better as novels or memoirs that contain no tweets.” Oyler should have taken her protagonist’s advice. The fake accounts in this book — her boyfriend’s conspiracy blog, the outlandish profiles the narrator creates on dating apps, her rambling observations about life — don’t attain novel or memoir status. Noteworthy characters and a memorable story are absent, while the social media posts lack originality and insight. I offer this judgment not only as a disappointed reader, but also as a conscientious writer (see my Amazon author page and Goodreads author page). The raves for Fake Accounts strike me as “false” hype for a worthless “recounting.” Reading it was akin to wasted hours scrolling online.
Find a real book to read insteadWhy writers read: “Knowing you have something good to read before bed is among the most pleasurable of sensations.” – Vladimir Nabokov
Asked by The New York Times what she had made during the pandemic year, actor and writer Sharon Horgan replied, “I wrote tons. I hope that’s not a smug answer. It was like work or be damned.” The lockdown may intensify that feeling, but for me, and I suspect most writers, writing versus damnation are the ordinary poles of non-pandemic life. A day without writing, or comparable creative activity, is a woebegone day! Read more of my thoughts about writing at REFLECTIONS.
A day without writing is a woebegone dayWhy writers write: “Find out the reason that commands you to write. Confess to yourself you would have to die if you were forbidden to write.” – Rainer Maria Rilke
“I’m getting stressed imagining the world opening up. If I have a creative epiphany before then, it would make me feel like this time is done” (musician Phoebe Bridgers). I too am both anxious and eager contemplating a return to normal social interaction. I don’t need an epiphany, but I need reassurance that my creativity as a writer during the pandemic will continue after restrictions ease. Read more of my thoughts about writing at REFLECTIONS.
I’m anxious in both senses of the word about the pandemic endingWhy writers write: “A writer is someone for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people.” – Thomas Mann
Asked by The New York Times what they’ve accomplished during the pandemic, creative people offer opposing responses. “I have never gotten so much work done! There are so few distractions or interruptions. Even if you choose to do nothing, you can do it with intensity” (Sheila Hicks, fiber artist). “I’ve made nothing. Creatively, I’m lost. It’s why I’m doing this interview. I’m guessing some other artists identify” (Tracy Letts, playwright). I’m with Hicks. Not because I have more time to fill, but because writing offers solace. I immerse myself in my characters who, while coping with other problems, are decidedly not living through this pandemic. Read more of my thoughts about writing at REFLECTIONS.
Is your pandemic year creatively half full or half empty?Why writers write: “A book is not an end in itself. Like a newspaper or magazine, a book is a means of communication.” – Isabel Allende
“Too Old for Grievances,” a work of microfiction, has been published at 50 Give or Take. This online publication from Vine Leaves Press emails a story of 50 words or less to each subscriber’s inbox every day. All are welcome to read, subscribe, and submit. FREE. Check out these stories of mine: Hit SEND November 25, 2020 Test Results December 22, 2020 Fido’s Lament February 13, 2021 Window Seat March 17, 2021 Too Old for Grievances April 04,2021
50 Give or Take: A story in your inbox every day. Subscribe, read, and submit for FREE!Why writers write: “Keep a small can of WD-40 on your desk — away from any open flames — to remind yourself that if you don’t write daily, you will get rusty.” – George Singleton
My Amazon and Goodreads review of Things That Crash, Things That Fly (Rating 5) – A Good Storyteller with a Good Story to Tell. Scott Gould’s memoir, Things That Crash, Things That Fly, speaks to everyone recovering from an experience — in his case a divorce — that has left them blind-sided and angry, in search of explanations and revenge. On the eve of a trip to Italy, including the small village where his wife’s family is from, she announces that she will leave him when they return. Readers recognize her sadism, but in his desperation to remain married, Gould is in denial until a “piercing” revelation (I won’t spoil it by revealing more) releases his rage. Wallowing in post-divorce misery, Gould returns to Italy to investigate the death of a young American World War Two bomber and tarnish his ex’s reputation. A good storyteller, with a good story to tell, Gould has an outward-looking eye for detail and an inward-looking eye for reflection. As an author myself (see my Amazon author page and Goodreads author page), I appreciate the dexterity with which Gould interweaves these two perspectives. In search of revenge, he experiences gratitude. In search of closure, he instead opens himself to new people and possibilities. Gould discovers that the dead soldier is kept alive by the stories of the villagers. Likewise, this return journey is a resurrection for the author. He tells his own tale and in the end, the book and its author soar.
A soaring antidote to painWhy writers read: “Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.” – Mark Twain
