My Amazon and Goodreads reviews of I’m Never Fine: Scenes and Spasms on Loss by Joseph Lezza (Rating 5) – Tribute and Tirade. Joseph Lezza’s I’m Never Fine: Scenes and Spasms on Loss is a moving tribute to his late father, whose death from pancreatic cancer left his son bereft. It is also a tirade against the unjust and untimely death of a generous man on the cusp of finally enjoying the fruits of a hard-working life. Lezza struggles with his identity as a gay man, raised by devout parents in a Catholic Church that condemned who and what he was. An only child, the beneficiary of his parents’ unstinting love, Lezza was filled with guilt and remorse for having disappointed them. Reading about his journey from self-abasement to self-acceptance is painful, but ultimately redeeming. As a writer myself (see my Amazon author page and Goodreads author page), I was impressed by Lezza’s agility with language. His lesson on the meaning of “fine” (adjective, verb, and noun), rooted in the Latin “finis” or end, is a masterful discourse on its ambiguity; it can describe a state ranging from superb to barely tolerable, from being done with grief to utterly and finally dead to the world, like his father. Likewise, Lezza’s description of his reawakening is simultaneously surreal and wholly authentic. As an end-of-life doula, I value his unsparing description of dying, a process that can literally and figuratively strip away our humanity — unless we transform it. Lezza and his mother, backed by family, friends, and hospice, never let the ravages of cancer deprive a brave man of the dignity and adoration he deserves. Lezza’s ferocious yet funny memoir restores justice to his father and rewards his own talents as a writer.
