My Goodreads and Amazon review of Better to Have Gone: Love, Death, and the Quest for Utopia in Auroville by Akash Kapur (Rating 5) – (Un)Holiness and (Dis)Harmony. Better to Have Gone by Akash Kapur is a biography of both a family and a community, Auroville, where the author and his wife grew up. The memoir is at once sympathetic to the visionaries who flocked to build this utopia in 1968, the heyday of intentional communities, and a heartbreaking critique of how idealism can succumb to fanaticism. The sprawling landscape of Auroville, in southern India, was conceived as a “reverse Tower of Babel,” where people from different corners of the world, speaking a multitude of languages, would live together in “concord and harmony.” Their shared tongue would be the yoga of Sri Aurobindo, the commune’s namesake, and the teachings of his anointed disciple, called “The Mother.” Initially, this utopia did not fare any better than the biblical edifice whose demise it proposed to reverse. While Auroville survived, it endured years of chaos, riven my factions that proved tragic for many well-intentioned people. Among them were the parents of the author’s wife, whose deaths Kapur sets out to investigate. It is noteworthy that he and his wife, attracted to modern-day ideals of escaping the American rat race, decided to move back to Auroville with their own children in 2004. While some members of the deceased families are eager to assign blame, Kapur is more motivated by a desire to explain and understand. We hear from people who could rightly be demonized but also from those who tried their best to help, and those who didn’t want to take sides but were nevertheless caught up in the hostilities. A writer myself (see my Amazon author page and Goodreads author page), I appreciate Kapur’s urge to humanize behavior that readers would otherwise be quick to condemn. As a cautionary tale, Better to Have Gone recognizes the inevitable destructiveness of human nature — in the way that many Bible stories can be read. But it also acknowledges the triumph of faith, a belief that this time, in this (other) way, we can aspire to do better and achieve a higher harmony.
