My Amazon and Goodreads review of Mama’s Last Hug: Animal Emotions and What They Tell Us About Ourselves (Rating 5) – All in the Family. In Mama’s Last Hug: Animal Emotions and What They Tell Us About Ourselves, primatologist Frans de Waal’s fascinating and accessible book fulfills the title’s promise. Although we generally use “emotion” and “feeling” interchangeably, he begins with a useful distinction. Emotions drive behavior and can thus be observed. Feelings, the internal states that accompany emotions, can only be inferred. Recounting the behaviors he and his colleagues have observed in our fellow primates and other species, Dr. de Waal makes a convincing case that humans are not that different animals, most notably, we are not “superior.” He has documented this claim elsewhere with regard to cognitive capacities; here he extends the comparison to affective behavior. As a developmental psychologist, I was reminded of my own field’s chronic underestimation of the capabilities of young children with regard to such attributes as empathy and morality. Dr. De Waal’s precise delineation of both the similarities and differences between apes and humans is insightful. Similarities abound in everything from laughter and grief, to fair play and revenge (even premeditated murder). One telling difference is the label “alpha male.” Originally the concept, which dates to wolf studies in the 1940s, simply meant the dominant male. However, as the term has been applied to humans, “alphas are not just winners, they beat the hell out of everyone around them.” In the animal world, the alpha male is not the biggest bully. In fact, “this male acts as the healer-in-chief, comforting others, intent on restoring harmony.” Perhaps, in observing our species today, de Waal can be forgiven for occasionally substituting cynicism for science. However, as a fiction writer, I set out to prove that even my most reprehensible characters can change. As a reader, I’m equally inclined to be generous. For optimists like me, de Waal offers hope that people can behave better by citing studies of female primates, who are the primary conciliators of their species. Whereas males physically dominate and intimidate, females stand their ground by exerting a powerful social influence. Females are peacemakers rather than warriors. Thus, de Waal says, it is past time to abandon macho theories of human evolution and embrace feminist ones. Only then we can harness the emotions that facilitate relationships and re-channel the destructive ones.
